I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder 4 years ago as a first year university student. My mental and physical health plummeted drastically. My life ahead seemed all gloomy and I was considering suicide with all seriousness back then.

After a few months of languishing and denial, as a last resort, I visited a psychiatrist, where I was introduced to this therapy for severe or refractory depression known as transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS). I underwent an intensive, accelerated TMS protocol known as SAINT, which consisted of 10 sessions daily for consecutive 5 days. I was told that my mood and outlook on life would improve dramatically in the matter of days. I was skeptical at first – how would this be possible? At the time, I was spiralling down my own negative thoughts and simply could not imagine my life in any other way. But I was soon proved wrong, as I already noted an improvement after the second day of treatment. And by the end of the week, I felt motivated, could think clear-headed and socialize normally again. As a result of the illness, I was absent on my finals. Yet after TMS, I had the strength to catch up and even passed the supplementary exam with distinction.

As I advance in my medical education, I have come to appreciate TMS as a promising, safe and evidence-based treatment modality for treatment-resistant depression, with success rate and response exceeding that of traditional antidepressants. Nonetheless, its limitation is obvious – the high cost and limited availability. Not everyone is fortunate enough to receive the TMS in the pirvate sector. And in my understanding, it is indeed available in the Hospital Authority yet to a highly selected group of patients. Despite these, I believe that many more would be able to benefit from TMS.

Speaking from experience and my knowledge on psychiatry, depression can sometimes be a highly organic disease. This refers to how our intrinsic brain chemistry and numerous other biological processes play an important role. Scientists may yet to decipher how they take place but they are undeniably present. These are unfortunately, out of our control. Unfortunately, this aspect of mental disorders unfortunately is not adequately appreciated by many. Therefore, I think mental illnesses deserve the non-judgement, compassion as well as medical resource that we give to other medical diseases.

Aug 2024